


Breathing Again

by theboringdolphin



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Annabeth and Percy break up, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Soft Feels, Sweet Ending, he isn’t like how fanon describe him, he’s also always down to roast, like a lot of it in the beginning, nico is happy with his life therefore he teases Percy endlessly, percy is NOT just there for laffs, percy is way different than how rick writes him nowadays, there’s meddling of the gods, two very specific gods of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theboringdolphin/pseuds/theboringdolphin
Summary: Percy is left in ruins after Annabeth leaves him. After surviving two wars, he feels lost, not imagining his life could fall to pieces before his very eyes. Aimlessly living through the aftermath of his breakup, Percy just can't seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Time heals all wounds, but can it heal this pain he's left in?
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 217





	Breathing Again

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to start off by saying that although most details in this story have a lot to do with canon, I have stopped reading Rick Riordan's work, around the time Blood of Olympus came out. I read the book, barely half way before giving up on it, because it was disappointing in a lot of ways. And it's been a long time since I last read PJO/HOO, so my memory is kind of fuzzy around certain details, so please bear with me if some things are wrong. If there are any inconsistencies please let me know and I'll change them.
> 
> Still, I hope you guys enjoy this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own PJO/HOO

Percy knew.

He knew from the moment she looked at him, what was about to happen.

_He knew._

And despite the fact that he had seen it coming for a while now, that he felt things weren't like how they used to be, he wasn't prepared.

"I'm sorry," she said weakly, her gray eyes looking anywhere but at Percy.

Why couldn't she look him in the eyes as she ended things? Percy thought he deserved at least that.

"I don't know..." She struggled to form the words. Emotions weren't always her strongest suit, she liked logic, being reasonable and realistic. She finally looked at Percy, her eyes were glistening, pleading but Percy didn't know for what. And despite the urge he had to go over there and comfort her, Percy couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Why?" He asked, choking on the word, irked at himself for sounding so _weak_. "Five years together, Annabeth..."

"I know!" She yelled, regret clouding her face in an instant, "I know," she whispered, "and I'm so sorry, but I just..."

Some part of him knew why, but he denied it. He didn't want to accept the truth of the part he played in the end of their relationship.

She had been slipping away, right through his fingers and he didn't know what to do to stop it. So Percy tried harder. He tried to be spontaneous, romantic...anything for her, but it wasn't enough.

"I don't think we should continue...Percy, I love you, but this relationship is draining me..." she said softly.

Tears rolled down his face, but he made no move to wipe them away.

Percy wanted it all and he wanted to have it with Annabeth by his side. He wanted the dream; the house, the kids, the relationship, the whole white picket fence.

"I guess," she started, "I guess we got together too young. We didn't...there was always...something. Always something," she mused.

Percy looked down at the floor, his mind going back to four months ago when they were grocery shopping and Annabeth...she was there, but it was like she was checked out. She wanted to pull away even then, but Percy only held on tighter.

"We didn't...we just moved in together here, started our life in New Rome, we were young. We had just gotten through another prophecy, we were just happy to still be alive, to still have each other. Especially after Jason's death...and we were best friends and in love and young." Annabeth's voice cracked. She took a steadying breath. "Percy, you wanted to have a life with me, and you wanted kids and the house and the family neither of us had, but I..." she faltered.

"Okay, fine, so you don't want that. I get it, we can-we can compromise Annabeth, we can do something," Percy said, beginning to pace back and forth. "We don't have to have the house and the family, we can just get married, just you and me and we can be together."

"Percy, please, the past two years, that's all you would talk about, I can't stop you from that."

"No, Annabeth, it's fine, I can wait," Percy said.

"All you would say was that we were demigods," Annabeth continued, almost ignoring what Percy had said, "you would talk about how we didn't exactly have a lot of time. You would panic, saying who knows when we could die, and you wanted to get started on your plans as soon as possible."

"I'm telling you I can wait!"

"But I'm trying to tell you not to!"

Percy stilled, the only sound he could hear was the roaring of his pulse in his ears.

"Annabeth, what are you saying?" Percy's voice sounded hollow, even to him.

Annabeth's gray eyes glistened, and she inhaled sharply, looking as if she was in pain, "Percy," she whispered, "I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore...not the way you love me."

"What?" Percy asked, stopping dead in his tracks.

"You deserve to have the life you want, to have the family you wanted and I deserve to live my dream. I _want_ to make an impact in this world before starting a family. I _want_ to focus on me." Annabeth said with a shuddering breath.

"So you don't love me anymore?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"I wish..." Annabeth began, before stopping, "Percy I'm sorry, I don't. Not anymore."

Percy's mind was racing a mile a minute but his body was stuck in place, frozen.

"I care about you, Percy, I always will, but not as much as I think you deserve. You deserve someone who will really love you, and so do I." Annabeth continued, voice soft, "you wanted to start a family and I felt pressured. You were too scared of the next prophecy, too scared of dying before doing the things you wanted to do and I understood, but I didn't know yet if kids were something I wanted. I want to focus on my career. We want different things right now. And this fighting between us, that's been growing worse with each passing day is just...draining me." She finished softly, broken.

"I'm _tired,_ " Annabeth said weakly, "I'm tired of fighting with you."

"So then you're giving up?" Rage bled through the accusation.

Annabeth's cheeks burned red, "if you call sparing us from damaging our relationship even further with the fights before resentment starts to grow giving up, then _fine_!"

Percy chuckled mirthlessly, "I can't believe it took you this fucking long to realize you don't love me anymore."

The reddness in her face was spreading, up to her ears and down her neck, "feelings change! People change! I didn't just wake up one day and decided I didn't want to love you anymore! Don't you think I've thought this through carefully Percy?! Don't you think I know the risk in what I'm saying, especially after building my life with you! Don't you think I know what I'm doing to you? To me? To everything we have?"

"Tartarus," Percy said, looking at her, "we went through Tartarus together, we struggled with our nightmares, with our guilt for surviving two wars, watching our friends die!"

"I know that!"

"We got through it all, with each other, _for_ each other," bitterness seeped into his voice.

"Percy, please," she begged, her voice wavering, " _please,_ don't make this any harder than it already is."

* * *

She left.

A day later, she left.

When it came time for Annabeth to pack her things, it had been tense. Suffocating. Percy didn't want her to leave, but he knew he couldn't force her to stay.

It was a losing battle on Percy's end, and he didn't know what to do. So Percy decided to do nothing. Besides, he wouldn't want her to stay with him out of obligation, if it wasn't out of love, Percy didn't want anything she had to offer.

He looked around at their half empty apartment.

_It's not ours anymore._

I _t's just mine,_ Percy thought.

It's like he didn't recognize it. It's like he didn't recognize himself anymore.

* * *

No one will tell you about the limit, they put on how long you can grieve.

Percy couldn't sleep.

He couldn't eat.

He decided to take his vacation days from work now because he didn't feel like showing up and pretending everything was fine. So he was left with only showing up at school and even then, he wasn't motivated enough to go. He stayed at home, sleeping when he could. When he couldn't, he would stare at the wall in silence.

No one will tell you how humble you'll feel about your past bliss, once the lights have dimmed down.

Percy kept his shades drawn and the lights off, it was better in the dark. He could hide in it.

He didn't have to face what he was slowly becoming.

He ignored the phone calls from his mom and his friends.

There was a text from Nico almost every day and Hazel had tried to visit, but when she came knocking on his door, he ignored her.

He didn't mean to, and he felt guilty, but Percy didn't have the energy to do much of anything.

No one tells you how it seems like the darkness swallows you whole, with no end in sight.

They don't tell you how hurt and pain are the only things you seem to feel.

Some nights were spent holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

And when he had no release for his sadness, his exasperation would boil over. When that happened, Percy found he had no patience for anything that vexed him. He was as tempermental as the sea.

They don't tell you how lonely you feel in your own bed.

He couldn't really sleep in his bed properly, so instead, on nights when he _could_ sleep, they would be spent on the couch.

He couldn't stand to lay in a bed they once shared.

He would wind up staring at her side of it, and would start to feel fury slowly trickling inside him.

How deafening the silence can be when it's just you. Left alone and behind.

 _It hurts,_ he thinks.

It isn't worth it.

Love isn't worth it.

_It feels like I'm dying._

And Percy prays.

_Please help me stop this pain._

_I'm praying to anyone who will listen, please!_

_I need help._

He hoped to never feel love again. Not if it was going to hurt this badly.

* * *

_I miss her._

Percy seemed to have forgotten what it was like to be alone. He couldn't seem to remember what his life had been like before her, she had always been there. Even as a friend.

He was relearning how to be alone.

In every sense of the word.

No one really prepared you for what that would feel like after a relationship ends.

How long and lonely nights felt, it was suffocating. If he looked to his left, where he _should_ have seen her right there, next to him, there was nothing. No one, just cold, dead space.

No one told you about the mornings after your relationship ends.

How you wake up alone. How hollow that feels after years of being greeted with a kiss or just _some_ type of affection. The fleeting touches he had taken for granted were now gone. And he didn't realize how much it would hurt to not have them anymore. They were always just so casual.

He was relearning to eat without her anymore, to sleep without her, to _breathe_ without her.

And the pain was all-consuming. He missed her all the time.

He missed her lips, her voice, her touch. He wished for nothing more than to go back in time and fix everything.

There was a silence settling in his bones and his grief would come in waves.

She had been his everything.

Losing her was like losing a part of himself and Percy didn't know how to get that part back. _How dare I let her take that from me._

_How dare I let her take the parts I had fixed to make myself fit for her._

She left him.

And he felt irritated with himself, because his heart continued to ask for her, yearning for her. He can't even lie to himself convincingly enough when he says he doesn't need her.

There is no solution to this pain.

He doesn't know what to say, what to feel. Percy still lives in the place they once called theirs, still sleeps some days in the bed they once shared, and he lies awake at nights on his side of the bed and wonders where did it all go wrong?

He wants to scream. He wants to throw things. He wants to punch something. He wants to let all of this frustration and resentment he feels out, but he doesn't know how to let it all go.

It hurt Percy to look back and watch them fall apart. He should have seen it coming. Maybe if he had been more aware, they wouldn't be here. They wouldn't have ended. Their love wouldn't have fizzled and died.

_I don't know what else to do._

* * *

It had been more than a month now since she left him.

He was walking down the streets of New Rome, on his way home, stopping by a restaurant to pick up dinner for himself when on the way out, he bumped into her. She was with someone new.

It was awkward and painful.

 _How could she move on so quickly from me?_ Percy thought to himself.

The man she was with went inside to order for them, and Percy couldn't help but glare at him as he passed them to get to the entrance. Annabeth took note of the glare, but only sighed tiredly before taking Percy to the side.

"Move on Percy," she said sadly, "I think it's time to move on."

"Come back," he begged and he saw her shake her head, her eyes were beginning to water, "please, come back, I'll do better, I can fix things."

"Stop," she said, "you don't need to fix yourself for me."

"Annabeth, please..."

"Move on."

_Please come back to me._

_I don't understand anything about me anymore._

It felt like he wasn't living.

And he felt something else. Anger. How could Annabeth move on so quickly, how easy it was to continue to live her life while Percy seemed lost and stuck. He glared at at a crack on the sidewalk, silently stewing before walking away.

* * *

Another month had passed, but it was like Percy didn't notice how fast time was moving.

Kisses on her forehead, waking up before her and just watching her sleep, cooking with her, cleaning with her. It was all gone and memories were all that was left.

The curve of her smile, the twinkle that was her laugh, the curl of her hair. It all haunted Percy.

He didn't know what to do anymore. How could he escape this sadness that filled him? And bubbling beneath the surface, was the frustration he still felt.

* * *

He was numb.

And Percy grew tired of feeling nothing but emptiness.

"Hey there, handsome," whispered a redhead who sat one barstool away from him.

Percy's eyes flitted to her, briefly appraising her. She was pretty, short red hair, blue eyes, a very pretty, full, pink mouth. She smiled, showing off her pearly whites and there was something stirring inside him.

Desire.

Something he hadn't felt in over three months.

Percy was tired of feeling sad and blue. What was one night of fun?

* * *

Her name was Stephanie, a mortal.

She tasted different. Different than _her_. But different was good. And good was better than nothing.

It was never serious, just fun, just someone to lean on when Percy felt lonely, someone to touch, to kiss, to fuck.

And he knew he was nothing serious for her either, she had been more than clear with him.

"Fuck," she breathed out, huffing, "that was amazing, you're like an animal sometimes, kinda feels like you can go on forever."

"Thanks," Percy said, staring up at her ceiling.

"How come you never invite me to your place?" She asked, "are you hiding something?"

"And if I was?"

"Are you a serial killer? Don't murder me if you are," she teased, putting her short hair into a small ponytail.

"No, I'm definitely not that, but I am a private person."

"I can understand that," she shrugged.

"I gotta go," Percy said, getting up and looking for his clothes. He didn't like having small talk with her, he didn't want to know her.

"Of course you do, like always," she huffed, "same time tomorrow?"

"Absolutely."

He finished dressing, and began to make his way out of her bedroom, "see you later, tiger," she called after him, blowing him a kiss. Percy waved his hand before leaving her apartment.

It had been a month since Stephanie and Percy began to fuck casually. Before her, Percy had felt numb.

He still feels numb. He still feels empty.

* * *

Trying to keep his demigod life hidden from Stephanie had become a hassle, she kept getting curious. Though he hadn't wanted to, Percy ended things with her.

So he was right back to where he left off before he met her.

Percy was at a bar inside New Rome. He was alone, it was 7 pm, and he was drinking a glass of whiskey.

As Percy contemplated how to go about getting someone like Stephanie again, he felt a pair of eyes on him. From his peripherals, Percy saw a guy staring him down across the bar. Brown hair, brown eyes, a playful, shit-eating smirk, and a body that was toned. He briefly wondered how those muscles would react under his touch. Percy turned his head towards the stranger, whose smirk only grew.

He downed his half-full bottle of beer before strutting over to Percy, sitting next to him.

"Hey stranger," he winked at Percy.

"Hey handsome," Percy replied breezily.

"That was supposed to be my line," he quipped back.

"Well, what can I say, I'm quick on my feet. Besides, if it was your line, you would've said it first."

"Got me there. How quick are you in _other_ areas?"

"Someone's feeling confident. And also getting ahead of himself."

"What can I say, I'm an impatient man."

"Patience is a virtue," Percy sipped on his drink before looking over at him, Percy's eyes roaming over his form.

"I'm not a virtuous man, I'm more lustful than anything," he laughed, as if he had just made a joke that Percy would understand, "I'm Darius."

"Percy."

"Oh, I know who you are handsome, who doesn't," Darius teased, "my mother is Venus." _Ah,_ Percy thought, _that was the joke._

"How ironic that you're lustful, and your mother is the goddess of love."

"Just perfect, right?" He joked.

They eyed each other in silence. There was an electric charge in the air. Percy felt his heartbeat fast in his chest, the anticipation of what was to come exciting him. Maybe there was a reason why Percy had been at this bar at this time, meeting a son of Venus. Maybe Percy should have been a little more wary of him but Percy wasn't thinking clearly, and right then, he didn't care.

...

"Fuck!" Darius sighed, laying back on the bed, "do you have any idea how good you were?"

"Please, stroke my ego some more," Percy said, and although he had meant for it to come out as a joke, it came out more dead than anything. Darius chose to ignore it though and continued to talk.

"Is this the first time you've ever done it with a guy?"

"Yeah."

"And already you're so good?" Darius whistled in appreciation, "is there anything you can't do?"

"I'm a quick study."

"So it seems, you think you're good for round two?"

Percy looked at Darius. He could be what Percy needed at that moment.

Percy smirked as he watched Darius slide down, kissing down Percy's body. A small swipe of his tongue had Percy inhaling sharply.

* * *

Darius became another face in the sea of people Percy fucked to rid himself of this feeling.

He searched for the connection he used to have with _her_ in these endeavors, or so he told himself to sleep better at night. He searched for her in different faces, different bodies, desperately trying to rid himself of the emptiness eating away at him from the inside. He searched for her taste but everyone else tasted bland compared to her.

He was numb almost five months ago.

He is still numb.

He still feels empty.

He's still searching.

* * *

There was a knock on the door that shook Percy awake from his dreamless sleep. Before, when it felt like the world was ending, Percy's dreams would oftentimes contain snippets of the goings-on around him, maybe a peek into the future. Now, if his nightmares weren't tormenting him, they were blank.

_Knock-knock!_

Percy groaned and his body protested any movement he tried to make.

_Ding-dong!_

Whoever was at his door was adamant about seeing Percy. Some foolish part of him wondered if it was maybe Annabeth, and that suddenly had his body moving from his bed, across his room to open his door. Only to find himself face to face with dark brown eyes.

"I was being polite ringing the doorbell and knocking on your door," Nico said.

"So you broke in?"

"I wouldn't it call it breaking and entering, more like shadow-traveling and entering," Nico teased, flashing Percy a cheeky smile.

"That's still breaking in," Percy grunted, bumping into Nico's shoulder, pushing past him. He was just waking up, but already he felt annoyed.

"Not really...nothing was broken," Nico quipped, quirking an eyebrow up as he watched Percy make his way to the kitchen.

"Actually, something _is_ broken, my confidence in the fact that nobody could break into my place," Percy grumbled, standing near the kitchen counter, his head was turned away from Nico, so Nico couldn't see that Percy was rolling his eyes.

"Can't really break something you don't have," Nico quickly said, Percy turned to face him, and glared his way. Nico flashed another cheeky smile, "just kidding."

"What do you want?" Percy huffed in annoyance, his arms crossed over his chest, trying to swallow the disappointment he felt. For a fleeting moment, he had really thought that would have been Annabeth, but even wishing that it was her, irked him.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing is all," Nico replied, he noted how Percy curled and uncurled his fingers.

Percy took him in, his eyes raking over Nico's form.

Over the course of five years Nico had matured, and grown, he was taller than Percy now, not by much, but still. His hair, which had been shaggy in his teen years was now clean-cut, the back reaching his neck and the front bangs never going past his eyes. He was still lean, but he had muscles underneath his baggy shirts. He looked healthier now, his skin had gotten back some of that olive undertone, but Nico would always be kind of pale. He looked happier nowadays too, and the bags under his eyes less severe, they would always be there, but now it looked like he had grown into them.

"Why?" Percy asked, going over to the fridge to take out something for Nico to drink.

"I heard about you and Annabeth," he spoke quietly, leaning against the sink in the kitchen. Nico watched Percy carefully, trying to gauge his reaction.

Nico had said her name, and that was all it took. Five months and Percy still hadn't gotten over the pain he still felt. It was there, he just pushed it to the back of his mind, trying to forget, but Percy knew that pain was as constant as the sun.

"That happened a long time ago, who cares," he lied through his teeth, slamming the door of the fridge shut.

"You do, you idiot," Nico said, his eyebrows rising at the noise the slam had caused. Percy's temper had always been something that couldn't be taken lightly, it was like the sea, unrestrained and untamed.

Percy exhaled through his nose, of course, Nico knew he was lying. Over the course of five years and since he had come out; added with the fact that Nico had told Percy he had a crush on him, their friendship got back on track. They had a heart to heart conversation and only grew closer after that. There was a lot of history between them, not all good but not all bad either. They had a lot of ups and downs, and they struggled to get to a place where they were both comfortable with each other. No hidden feelings of betrayal or hurt, no trust issues, and no crushes stood between their friendship.

Percy learned to be a better friend through Nico, because Nico had always been the better friend. He learned to let go of his initial mistrust of Nico and learned to trust him again. It took a lot of work but they got there together.

Percy guessed he should have seen this coming.

"You weren't answering none of my Iris messages...or really anything in general. I called and texted you on that... _phone_ Leo designed for demigods, but nothing, no answer, you just left me on "read". So excuse me for wanting to check up on my friend," Nico grumbled, grabbing the can of soda Percy offered him.

Percy sighed tiredly, rubbing a hand over his face.

With Nico and him getting closer over the years, Nico was bound to check up on Percy after the break-up with Annabeth.

Grover had tried to keep in touch and he still checked in, but he was also busy trying to save the wild places. That didn't lessen their bond, Percy knew they were attached in a way no one else could ever be. They were more than best friends, they were brothers. No matter how long they went without talking, it would all go away as soon as they got together. The way only true friendships did.

Piper and Leo would still pop up every now and then, but they had their own things going. Nico had been doing several jobs for his father, but he still managed to text Percy every other day and ask how he was doing. Percy didn't reply most of the time, though. Hazel and Frank would come over, but the visits were far and few in between. They were praetors now, so they were always busy. Percy was still working and finishing up his studies at school. Reyna was a Hunter now, along with Thalia.

Life would get in the way for all of them. It just wasn't the same as before. Sure the world was always in trouble or ending, but they had each other. They were together and over the years, it felt like family. No matter how bad things got, they knew they could all count on each other. Those days spent on the Argo II were something Percy would never forget. It wasn't perfect, hell Percy thought one way or another, they were all going to die trying to save the world, but they survived and in the end, that only brought them closer together. They had made it out alive, the prophecy was done, and they were going to be fine and then...

And then, Jason died.

And it wasn't supposed to happen, he was supposed to live a long, happy life.

He had done all of the things Percy had done and yet his life had been cut _so_ short.

It wasn't fair.

Jason's death affected them all in different ways. Some part of Percy still thought it wasn't real. Percy guessed that was the denial and the guilt he felt.

Percy thought this is what grown-ups meant when they said life passed by so quickly. Everyone was always so busy and sometimes things or people would slip right through their fingers. The gang hadn't really hung out in a long time.

"Okay, but why are you here in New Rome?" Percy grumbled, sitting down on a chair at the kitchen counter.

"I'm visiting Hazel for a bit but she rarely has time, and I thought, why not visit my friend, Percy. You know, the friend who's been ignoring me? All I wanted was to see how you were doing," Nico answered, sarcastically, ignoring Percy's sour mood and sitting down in the chair next to him.

Percy sighed sharply, _"funny,"_ he scoffed, "besides, I thought you were on a job for your dad."

"I was, and now I'm finished and my dad said he'd call again if he needed me. Told me to relax and enjoy my time off," Nico said, taking a sip of his soda.

"I don't see coming to visit me as relaxing," Percy said bitterly. He didn't mean to, but nowadays it got harder to hide how he felt. And Percy knew his temper had always been a problem. His fuse was really short, he was snapping at people more often.

"Well, I do, because I get to see a really good friend of mine and I don't care if you're not doing too good yourself, it's good to have someone look out for you. You did it for me, when Will and I broke up."

Percy stilled for a moment. Will and Nico breaking up had been terrible for both of them. They cared so much about each other and had become so attached, but Will had wanted to settle out of the demigod life and Nico was still very much involved. They had tried to compromise but with Will leading a normal life outside of the camps and Nico coming to visit, it brought disaster.

Being a child of the big three always did.

Percy didn't know if it was the monsters, Nico still doing jobs for his father or the fact that Will had difficulty merging his demigod life with Nico and his normal human life with his friends but, they decided it was better to break up.

"I did it because I wanted to, you're my friend and I wanted to be there for you. You don't have to feel obligated because of it."

"It's not an obligation, I want to be there for you Perce, I care about you. Now stop trying to kick me out and let's hang out instead," Nico teased lightly, and it had somewhat started to brighten up Percy's spirits.

"What's the game plan then?" He asked, looking over at the brown eyed male.

"Well," Nico began, "I'm sure you didn't notice, but I did bring a lot of junk food," he gestured over to Percy's coffee table in the living room. On it were different bags filled with what Percy could see were chips, soda, and other stuff, "I'd figured we'd play some video games and maybe watch a movie later on...but by the looks of things, you haven't even eaten breakfast."

"It's way past breakfast," Percy mumbled, looking over to the clock on his oven and seeing it was 1:34.

"Okay but still, you gotta get something to eat. So let's go out, enjoy the sun for a while and get something together."

...

"You gotta admit, tacos were a very good idea," Nico laughed as they came back from lunch, he made his way to Percy's living room.

"You're right, I really did need to eat something...I just didn't realize I was so hungry..."

Nico sombered up quickly, "I know. It's hard to think about things like eating or taking care of yourself when you're in that hole, but Perce, you _have_ to do better. I know it's hard, but you've gotta know to put yourself first."

Percy looked over at Nico as his eyes bore into Percy. There was nothing he could say or needed to say, Nico understood what it was like.

"Okay, enough with the heavy," Nico sighed, sitting on the couch, "let's chill, and get our minds off reality for a bit. What do you say about playing smash? I think I'm about ready to kick your ass."

"Yeah right," Percy snorted, sitting next to Nico, "I doubt you could kick my ass."

"Perce, I can kick your ass in video games _and_ in real life, come on now, it's _me_. Besides, I'm like the master at video games," Nico said, bumping his shoulder playfully with Percy's.

"Okay," Percy said, bumping Nico back, "let's not get ahead of ourselves now."

"Percy, I spent more than a decade at the Lotus Hotel, where me, a once 11 year old boy with nothing but free time on his hands played nonstop video games, I think we can all say I _am_ the video game master."

"I thought you were the Ghost King," Percy teased, turning on his tv.

"Oh, I'm that too, I have many titles, Ghost King, Video Game Master-"

"Annoying Twerp?" Percy interrupted, he smirked at Nico as he handed him a controller.

"Fuck off," Nico grunted.

Percy smirked, "right back at ya."

* * *

"You know, to actually make chicken alfredo, you gotta have the food you need to prepare to make it..." Nico said, as he put a box of pasta in the shopping cart, "or food in general would be a good thing to have in your house? Considering the fact that you are human and you need to eat."

Percy huffed, rolling his eyes as Nico continued to walk down the aisle.

"I didn't think you'd be coming over again this week," Percy said, watching Nico walk ahead of him.

"Oh, well get used to it, I told dad I was gonna take an _extended_ vacation," Nico smirked Percy's way.

"Why would you do that?" Percy asked, catching up to Nico and walking beside him.

"Because you _obviously_ need me in your life and I want to make myself more accessible to you," Nico said, as innocently as possible.

"More like you need my tv and my xbox," Percy grumbled as he looked over some sauces on the shelf.

"Don't forget the fact that you got cable," Nico laughed, "I need your cable too."

"Oh, yes, how could I forget? So stupid of me," Percy said sarcastically.

"Exactly," Nico agreed, smiling when Percy shoved him forward.

Despite that Percy sounded annoyed with Nico, he was actually grateful to have him over again. And shopping with Nico was fun. It was different than shopping by himself nowadays. It was better.

...

"Are you absolutely _sure_ you know what you're doing?" Percy asked as he saw Nico cook both the pasta and the chicken. The chicken had been cut into smaller pieces, seasoned and was currently being grilled. It was already halfway done when the pasta was put to boil.

"Percy, how many times have you seen me cook?"

"Never," Percy answered immediately.

Nico deflated a bit, " _okay_ ," he began, "then how many of my dishes have you tasted before?"

"None."

"That's a lie!" Nico's brown eyes were wide when he looked at Percy.

"I don't remember ever eating a dish you made," Percy chuckled, he could already see Nico's ears turning red.

"Okay, so who do you think made that shrimp with white sauce and pasta last time..." Nico paused, trying to recall when they had had a last gathering as a group, "...three years...ago?" He finished lamely.

"I thought Will had cooked that day?"

"Well he didn't, it was me!"

Percy conceded, "that shrimp was _very_ delicious-"

"Thank you," Nico said, pleased.

"-but that was shrimp, this is chicken, two totally different things."

"Well, I've made chicken alfredo before," Nico huffed, turning over some of the chicken that was done on one side.

"Then I will be the judge of that."

"Hey judge," Nico looked over at Percy, his smirk growing, "why don't you help your cook. Put the plate settings on the table."

Percy, who had been leaning against the kitchen counter the whole time Nico was cooking, looked over at the brown eyed male, a smirk growing on his face, "how is it that you're in _my_ house, using _my_ kitchen-"

"Cooking _for_ you-" Nico interrupted Percy.

"The food _I_ paid for-"

"But _are you_ the one who's doing the cooking?" Nico asked, teasing.

"I bet you're gonna tell me to wash the dishes, too," Percy grumbled as he went about setting the table.

"Oh, absolutely, I'm not doing shit besides cooking," Nico laughed.

"Fuck you."

"Right back at ya!"

* * *

Percy exited the theater room, Nico following behind him.

"Ugh," Percy clutched at his stomach, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"I'm pretty sure we've seen worse. Up close and personal, things even movie magic can't fix up," Nico shrugged, putting his hands behind his head.

"Why again, did you decide to torment me with watching a fucked up movie?" Percy asked, as they exited theater.

"Because you were starting to be a shut-in again, ignoring my texts," Nico replied, "had to get you out of the house some way."

"Oh man, that scene where all the girls are dancing and then the colors and faces start to blend...Nico I thought I was tripping balls or...suffering a heart attack!"

"Great scene, huh?" Nico laughed.

"What did I do to the fates to deserve this in my life?" Percy asked, putting on a pleading tone.

"Hey!" Nico began, sounding offended but the glint in his eyes said otherwise, "anyone would be lucky to have me in their life!"

Percy chuckled, shaking his head, before growing quiet. Truth be told, Percy felt better today than he had the month before. He couldn't remember when was the last time he had felt this way. Carefree, laughing, having fun. Even before his breakup with Annabeth, it seemed like they were always fighting. Or being super nice to each other after getting over a fight right before it all began again. There was barely a time where it was peaceful in the months leading up to the breakup. And right now, Percy felt at peace.

He looked over at Nico, with his hands in his pockets, and thought that today had been a good day.

"Want to get dinner?" Nico asked, breaking Percy from his reverie.

"Yeah," Percy said, "let's get Chinese food. We can go back to my apartment and hang out."

By the time they had finished their food and had stopped playing video games, it was already two in the morning. Percy offered Nico his couch and Nico said he was going to take the time to visit his sister tomorrow, telling Percy he'd be back afterwards. Saying good night to each other, Pecy went to bed and found sleep came much easier to him that night.

* * *

A month had passed since Nico and Percy began to hang out again. It felt like old times if Percy was being honest, before work and school got in the way. Back when he could hang out with his friends _after_ saving the world.

Hanging out with Nico didn't stop the pain and numbness from leaving, but...it hurt less when he was around. Percy ddin't realize how lonely he had gotten, isolating himself from his friends and family. He missed hanging out with his mom, Percy barely even called her nowadays. He knew she was worried sick. Percy missed his sister. Estelle was growing up so fast, and he was missing all of it. He didn't even visit Tyson anymore. Guilt started to eat away at Percy's insides.

"Okay, I figure, we invite the group over and have a dinner/game night. What do you think?" Nico looked over at Percy from the book he was reading. He was sitting on Percy's armchair, his legs sprawled all over the other armrest.

Percy shook his head, cutting off the thoughts that were starting to form, "sounds fun, I haven't seen anyone in so long...I think it'd be nice."

"Cool, so let's invite Piper, Leo, Hazel, Frank, and aside from that I'm not too sure..." Nico trailed off.

"There's also Grover, he'd wanna come over too. Well, if he can break away from saving the wild places," Percy said, aimlessly switching channels on the tv.

"He _better_ not ruffle my hair or call me _Neeks_ , I swear..." Nico grumbled.

Percy couldn't help the laugh that escaped, "that's right, he did give you that nickname. It was around the time Annabeth-" he froze. The memory had gotten away from Percy and in the process he slipped.

"It's okay to talk about her..." Nico began, delicately, "she was a big part of your life Perce. Remember when I used to share my memories about Will with you and Hazel? It hurt but, it also felt like I was finally releasing that pain I felt. Will was a big part of my life, and in a more intricate way, he was a big part in discovering my sexualtiy."

"I don't know if I can even talk about her still Nico...Annabeth was more than just my girlfriend...she was one of my best friends and now..."

"I know."

They stayed quiet for a moment, Nico went back to reading his book, but Percy could tell he was just waiting for Percy to gather his thoughts and continue. Maybe talking about how he's been feeling these past months would help Percy release all the anger and sadness he felt but, he didn't think he'd be able to do it yet. Some part of him didn't want to release, it wanted to keep holding on.

He stayed quiet and Nico didn't push and for that Percy was grateful.

* * *

_I miss her._

Six months later and Percy still missed Annabeth.

He didn't know what to do anymore.

He still had all of this anger and sadness inside him but there was no escape.

There was nothing he could do to let it out. He didn't know how.

_Let yourself cry._

Whispered a voice in the back of Percy's mind.

But he refused to. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to be weak.

_Let yourself grieve._

Said the small voice, urging him to release.

And Percy couldn't help the tears that started to roll down his face. He tried to stop it, but it was like a floodgate had opened and he didn't know how to stop the tears from failling, there was just too many.

And he was tired of holding it in for so long.

So Percy decided to cry, though it was happening at the worst time since he was cleaning the stove.

As the tears continued to stream down his face, Percy's anger grew.

He scrubbed the stove harder than was necessary.

His sadness had gotten relief.

His wrath was still boiling underneath.

* * *

It hurt still.

It was strange. Percy missed Annabeth more as a friend than a lover.

He was still hurt. Percy thought they would be together forever. She was supposed to be his soul mate. They were _supposed_ to start a family together. They were supposed to have the house, the kids, everything. Percy's life was finally supposed to be great with her now that they dodged all that the world threw at them.

They fought the wars.

While the world was crumbling down around them, they stayed together.

They went through Tartarus.

So why...why was everything still so fucked up?

Why was Percy's life still upside down?

Why did it still hurt?

Why was there rage still thrumming under his skin?

 _Why can't I just be happy!_ Percy's mind spits out, fury coiling in the pit of his stomach.

And that was when Percy realized that for once...he wasn't just grieving his lost relationship. In fact, this outburst wasn't even about Annabeth. Percy was grieving the life he could have had. The happiness Percy had been _so_ close to.

Annabeth leaving Percy hurt him badly, but worst of all was losing the life he wanted to live beside her. Losing that dream of his hurt worse than losing Annabeth, because for once Percy had fooled himself into thinking...finally, his life was going to be okay.

But Percy was a demigod. And tragedy wasn't anything new to a demigod.

He recalled the words his father had said all those years back.

_Demigods don't live happy lives._

* * *

What was this game he was playing?

Why was Percy punishing himself like this?

Self-sabotage wasn't Percy's thing and yet...here he was again, trying to find another connection or something close to it.

_I think I finally cracked._

Percy stumbled into their apartment and the couple he was with caught Percy, the man's arms encircling him and the woman putting Percy's arm around her shoulders. It felt _wrong_.

"Come on, the bedroom's this way," the woman all but purred.

The facade Percy had earlier was slowly crumbling down, the mask was being torn to pieces and he felt a sense of despair.

"Tell...tell me how...you want me?" Percy asked, clinging to them for dear life, if only just to steady his fast-beating heart because some part of Percy knew what he was doing. Knew he was trying to hurt himself. Percy tried to keep the bile that was slowly crawling up his throat, down.

"I want you right there, sprawled on our bed," the man whispered, he tried to be seductive but the logical part of Percy's brain still functioning was revolted with himself. The woman kept pawing at Percy's chest, trying to take his shirt off.

_This is what I wanted...I wanted a reaction and that look in their eyes...that's love..._

* * *

It wasn't love.

It was 40 minutes of great sex but it left Percy confused. It didn't offer the relief he was after.

He enjoyed himself but Percy was still unsatisfied. He felt like something was missing, but he didn't have a clue as to what it was.

Percy was home now, showering to scrub off the disgust he felt until his skin was raw and red.

...

"-ndering if maybe, just maybe they could have stayed off of this derivative plotline! Boo!" Nico said, breaking Percy out of his thoughts.

They were hanging out again, watching a movie Percy tuned out because it was boring. Neither of them had picked it, but he had been participating unwillingly the whole night, his mind was still reeling off of what he had done three nights ago.

Sleeping with that couple hadn't felt like all of the times Percy had done the same with the others. It's not that there were a lot of people he had slept with either. Percy would say it was a normal amount if he had to base it off of how long they kept each other around, but he never bothered to actually remember anyone else because he never bothered to connect more with them.

_I didn't want to connect because that would mean I could move on from Annabeth._

And Percy didn't want that to happen. So he lied to himself that these were connections he was making. It made it easier to think that, than to admit he was doing this to hurt himself.

"Do you wanna talk about anything?" Nico asked him gently, noting how Percy had been unusually quiet.

Did he?

Was Percy finally ready to crawl out of this hole he kept digging himself into?

Nico was giving him a chance to talk things out, to finally let it all go.

Percy looked over at Nico, and he could see himself reflected in Nico's dark brown eyes. Percy looked like a mess, it wasn't a new sight, but what shocked him was that he actually cared how he looked. The last time Percy felt like that was before his break up with Annabeth. After the breakup, he just didn't see a point, so Percy stopped trying.

Percy had no idea when it was that he had started to care about things like how he looked or how he felt when having senseless sex with someone. For the first time in a long time, his breath came out a little easier, as if the fist that had closed tight around Percy's heart had loosened just a bit. Enough to give him a chance to catch his breath.

"I think I do..."

...

Nico had been away for a week now.

That night Percy had talked until he couldn't anymore. Nico had left his house around six in the morning.

Percy told Nico everything. About the people, he slept with, about this numb feeling he still felt from time to time, how frustration kept eating away at him, how he felt as if the world was tearing him to pieces but Percy still had to continue on like nothing was wrong. Just because he felt like the world was burning around him, didn't mean it stopped turning. Nico listened and never once judged Percy.

And Percy found himself waking up a little easier in the morning after that.

Waking up hurt a little less, with every passing day.

* * *

Another week had passed and still, there was no sight of Nico.

Percy didn't want to panic, but he was. He had texted Nico, called him, IM'd him but nothing, and now Percy was beginning to worry.

The fear he felt at the thought of losing another friend, had a vice-like grip on Percy's heart.

_Stop panicking. Nico's fine...he's Nico._

But that did nothing to quell his anxiety.

* * *

Two more weeks had passed and still, Nico wasn't back from wherever it was he was at.

And Percy's distress was weighing heavily on his mind.

Percy found he was dreaming new nightmares, ones where Nico was found dead.

He couldn't sleep, not with panic eating away at him almost every minute of the day.

* * *

_Ding-dong!_

Percy looked up from where he was sitting on the kitchen counter and quickly ran over to his door, flinging it open.

"Nico!" Percy exclaimed, pulling the brown-eyed male inside.

"Ow, Perce!"

" _What the hell man?!_ " Percy hissed, closing his door.

 _"What?"_ Nico asked, looking confused and rubbing his arm where Percy had grabbed him.

"Where the hell have you been?" Percy asked, his voice beginning to shake. "You _said_ a week, you _said_ it wasn't going to be anything more than that!" Percy's voice slowly rose in volume, "I thought something had happened to you, I _thought_ -" Percy cut himself off abruptly, pinching the bridge of his nose and exhaling slowly.

"Percy," Nico began, his voice low, trying to calm Percy down before continuing, "I'm sorry. I didn't think I would take so long. Nothing happened. You didn't need to worry."

"You didn't answer my calls, my texts, my IM's-"

"Well, now you know how I felt..." Nico said lowly.

Percy glared at him, " _not_ the time."

"Okay," Nico conceded, putting his hands up in surrender, "sorry."

"Nico," Percy began, his body tense, leaning against the kitchen table, "you can't-at least when you tried to call me I was here, in New Rome. I was _safe_. You were out there and who knows-" Percy stopped himself short.

"I didn't mean to worry you Percy, but I can take care of myself," Nico said, coming to stand in of him.

Percy looked up and into Nico's eyes, "Jason said the same thing once, and then he was killed. We're all spread too far apart. Thalia and Reyna are with Artemis and the Hunters, and I'm sure they're safe but something could always happen. Leo and Piper are in California away from the camps, Grover's... _somewhere_ around the world and...we-we can't lose anyone else Nico, I just _can't_."

"Perce, nothing is guaranteed. Not my life and not yours. I know fighting two wars and watching some of our friends die left you with survivor's guilt and PTSD and a whole bunch of other fucked up shit, but you can't let the fact that you're scared of losing people hold you back. You just gotta trust me when I go off on my own."

"But anything could happen!" Percy yelled, "I know you can take care of yourself but you shouldn't always be alone."

"Percy, what's this really about?" Nico asked, annoyance seeping through his tone, he crossed his arms over his chest.

"How do you think Hazel would react if she lost her brother?"

"Percy," Nico said, forcefully, " _what_ is this about? Why are you bringing up Hazel? You know I'm not a fucking damsel in distress, I know what I'm doing, I don't need you to coddle me! I'm not a kid anymore and neither are you!"

"It's about losing Jason!" Percy exploded, his anger finally erupting, "and losing Beckendorf and Silena and Luke and Annabeth! I couldn't do shit about any of them and if I lose you too...I just feel so fucking useless right now, Nico."

"Percy, you can't save everyone. And the deaths of our friends wasn't your fault and it wasn't something that could have been prevented. Everyone has a destiny in this life, and I _know_ yours isn't to sit in your house and live in fear of living your life."

Percy stilled. His mind reeling at what Nico had just told him. He was right, but Percy didn't know how to fix it.

"I'm sorry," Percy croaked out the apology, "I panicked and I-"

"It's okay Perce."

"I just..." Percy began, before he stopped, shaking his head, "Nico, I _can't_ lose you." Percy paused, looking away from him, "I _need_ you," he confessed, quietly, almost ashamed that he said it. Almost ashamed at the fact that he needed someone again.

"Then I'll be right here for you, Percy," Nico said, putting one hand on Percy's shoulder, making Percy look at him, "for as long as you need me to."

* * *

Percy cracked an eye open and turned his head to the left. He had his arm over his eyes to block out the sun that poked through the leaves of the tree he was laying under at the park. Nico was sitting against the tree bark, a book in his hand. His hair was a little shaggier than usual. Nico was only a foot away, and Percy could feel the warmth radiating off of him. It felt nice. And Percy felt safe.

He took the moment to study the brown-eyed male. Noting the curl of his lips in a small smile, Percy guessed it was because of something that was said in the book. There was a small exhale from Nico's nose, a ghost of a laugh. A bit of sunlight was hitting Nico's head, making it look as though there was a halo. Nico had scars up and down his arms, they crisscrossed each other on occasion. It wasn't something Percy wasn't used to seeing, his own arms also baring scars; but it looked distinguished on Nico, contrasting well with his skin. Percy had the sudden urge to run his fingers up and down Nico's arms.

Percy wondered briefly when had Nico grown up so much, so fast.

Dark brown eyes clashed with green ones, and Percy's breath caught in his throat. He'd been caught staring at Nico. Percy's heart started to beat fast in his chest, his mind already coming up with a million excuses. Some part of him wondered why he was getting so nervous.

Nico's lips quirked up in a smirk, keen enough to cut glass, his brown eyes never once letting go of Percy's, "weirdo."

Percy flushed red, "sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It's okay," Nico said softly, going back to his book.

Percy pulled his arm away from his face and turned his body on his side, resting his head in the crook of his arm. He kept staring at Nico. Percy didn't know why, but he couldn't stop. It was a little fascinating to watch him. Nico's nose was straight and slightly upturned. His eyes were big and round, almost doe-like. His mouth was small and his lips thin, but his cupid's bow was actually nice-looking, his lips were downturned, and that just made his mouth look even prettier.

 _Why am I thinking about his lips!_ Percy shook that thought from his head.

Percy decided to stop his train of thought because it was heading somewhere he wasn't sure he could handle.

"Hey, Nico."

"Yeah?"

"Do you still keep in touch with Will?"

Nico looked over at Percy, quirking an eyebrow at him, "uh, no. Why?"

"I wanna reach out to Annabeth but, I don't know if I'm ready for that. I just...I know that I miss her in my life but..."

Percy had felt an urge to speak to her again, and over the course of the week, the urge only grew stronger. No matter how things ended, Annabeth had been a big part of Percy's life, he didn't see how he could ever cut her out of it. The hurt was still there, as was the anger but he still missed her. Not as his girlfriend, but as his friend. He missed her like he missed Grover and he missed when it was just the three of them, out on a quest trying to save the world. It was insane that some part of Percy longed for those days.

"There's no rush Percy, I'm sure Annabeth is going to be there for you whenever you decide you're ready to let her in your life again."

"How is it that you're younger than me, yet you're wiser than me too."

"Technically, I'm older than you..." Nico joked, closing his book and looking down at Percy.

"Technically?" Percy asked, a smile working its way onto his face, his eyes flitting all around Nico's face.

"I _am_ 88 years old," Nico teased, "I was born in the 1930s."

"Okay, but in reality, _I_ am older than you."

"Unbelievable," Nico griped, "absolutely no respect for your elders!"

"Okay grandpa," Percy ribbed, "how about we get something soft for your teeth, like ice cream."

Nico's fingers drew circles on the book's cover, "ice cream does wonder for these old bones of mine."

Percy let out a loud laugh, getting up from the ground and offering Nico his hand.

"Come on old man, we don't have all day," Percy joked.

"You young whipper-snappers, always moving too damn fast!" Nico said, grabbing Percy's hand.

"It's not my fault you're so slow ya old fart!" Percy ragged, shivering when a spark shot down his arm when Nico touched his hand.

This felt good. Percy found himself laughing easier now, here with Nico by his side, he breathed a little easier. This felt _right_.

* * *

Percy looked up at his ceiling.

Today felt like it was going to be a good day.

He didn't have any nightmares the night before. And the emptiness he had grown accustomed to was starting to go away, little by little. The numbness of the past couple of months had started to disappear.

Percy was surprised to find he felt okay.

It had been nine months since his breakup with Annabeth.

It hurt less, saying it out loud. The pain felt like a low hum, that was slowly seeping out of his system.

There was a vice-like grip over his heart that was loosening, little by little.

_I'm starting to remember me before you._

Percy found himself reflecting on his relationship with Annabeth in the quiet mornings before he had to leave for work or school.

The time he spent thinking about the problems their relationship had faced, had made Percy feel guilt. He was starting to think the dissolution of his relationship had been his fault. And Percy didn't know what to feel whenever he came to that conclusion.

Part of him was still angry at Annabeth, but now there was a part of him that was starting to get angry at himself.

Percy didn't know what to do.

* * *

"Do you think it was all my fault?" Percy asked Nico.

Nico looked away from the ocean in front of them and looked over to his right, where Percy was sitting on the sand, "what do you mean?"

"The end of my relationship with Annabeth?" Percy elaborated.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because Nico, I wanted to start a family and I rushed Annabeth into it. The whole time, I thought we were on the same page, it was what we wanted. I mean, we both came from slightly broken homes, Annabeth had run away from her home when she was seven and all she knew was Luke, Thalia and then the camp. And my family life was less than ideal."

"Your mom was married to Smelly Gabe, right?" Nico recalled the nickname Percy had given that horrible man.

"Yeah, and he was an asshole who drank beer, played poker with his friends and-" Percy paused, because even after all these years he was still ashamed to come to the conclusion that his mother suffered abuse at the hands of that vile man, all to keep Percy safe. "And he used to hit her, I think."

"You don't know?" Nico asked softly, sympathetic.

"My mom always covered it up if he did, I never saw anything but if he could do it so easily to me when she was gone..." Percy recalled a time when Gabe had grabbed Percy by his hair and knocked his head back into the wall, hard. Gabe stood over Percy, the reek of alcohol and cigars hot on his breath, making Percy gag, and threatened Percy not to tell Sally about what was going on if Percy knew what was good for him.

"You know that wasn't your fault, right?"

"I know that now, but I still get angry that it happened."

"You have every right to feel that way," Nico empathized, "Gabe was a horrible human being..." Nico stopped, a hint of a smile growing, "and now he's a horrible statue in the garden of some rich person who lives in the upper west side of New York."

Percy exhaled softly through his nose, a small laugh escaping from him, "gotta give my mom props for thinking that one up. Medusa's head definitely came in handy there."

"I think it's fitting that Medusa helped in turning Gabe into a statue. Gabe was a horrible, little man who abused women, and Medusa was abused by a man too-" Nico cut himself off, looking over at Percy sheepishly, "sorry. Didn't mean to call your dad a..."

"Rapist basically?" Percy asked, "it's fine. My dad has done a lot of things that were horrible and there's no excusing that. Greek mythology is... _messy_."

"You're telling me, I mean, my dad kidnapped his wife and forced her into marriage," Nico said, and Percy snickered at the look on Nico's face.

"Do you think if Annabeth and I had gotten married...it would've been like I had forced her into it?"

"No," Nico answered quickly, "first off, no one on this Earth can make Annabeth do something she doesn't want to."

"But I _feel_ like I had forced her to move to New Rome with me. I mean, it was my idea anyway, back when I was here and I had lost my memories before getting them back. My first thought was that I could build my life here with Annabeth. When I brought it up, she was surprised, not opposed to it, but not exactly for it either. And even after touring New Rome, she was still kinda iffy about it. I was sure about this, but she wasn't."

"That's normal, you had already had a chance to grow accustomed to New Rome because you spent time here before Annabeth, for her, it must've been very jarring. Considering the fact that one, we all thought there was only one camp for demigods and two, that there was an actual Roman city here where demigods could lead almost normal lives and be safe."

"I mean, if I really think about it Nico, Annabeth and I didn't really get to fully know each other on an intimate level the first two years of our relationship. I mean, we got together after the battle with grandpa-"

"Grandpa?" Nico cut in confused, but a smile working its way on his face.

"Well, you can't exactly say names," Percy said, a smile on his face too. Names were a powerful thing to say if you're a demigod. Saying the names of the gods was the equivalent of a radio broadcast, having them zero in on whatever you were saying, "I know he's down in Tartarus locked up but still, better to be safe than sorry."

"But you don't actually share any DNA with him," Nico laughed.

"Okay how about, Time Lord?"

"Cheesy but better, grandpa was too weird, that'd make old thunderbutt our uncle and I wouldn't want him for one."

"Same, and once again, I am extremely glad the only DNA we share with the gods, are our own parents' DNA, but back to what I was saying," Percy continued, "after the battle with him and grieving the loss the camp suffered, Annabeth and I had only gone out a month before I was abducted by Lady Peacock Feathers with no memory of who I was before. Just my name and my age. I couldn't remember my own mom! The only ones who I even remembered slightly; and that was with difficulty, had been Annabeth and..." Percy stopped as his mind came to the conclusion, "and... _you_ ," he finished softly.

"Oh yeah," Nico said, "when I met you at camp while visiting Hazel, you said something about me being familiar, I was literally shitting bricks, and I lied about knowing you."

Percy looked over at Nico, whose eyes were trained on the ocean waves in front of them. Percy swallowed hard. It was the first time he thought about the implications of remembering Nico, even slightly, during that time in New Rome. Percy had known with utter certainty that he knew Nico from somewhere but his mind couldn't recall where. And the feeling never once left him, not until he got his memories back and with them, his anger came crashing into him. He had felt betrayed for the second time by Nico. Of course, Percy knew now that Nico couldn't have said anything or else that could have wrecked Hera's plans.

"Sorry about that," Nico apologized, looking over at Percy.

"You already apologized," Percy mumbled, tearing his eyes away from Nico. He didn't feel angry, there was something else coiling in the pit of his stomach, something warm.

"I know but still, it was pretty shitty of me."

"Look, it was a shitty situation all around. What was actually shitty was dumping Bob on you after abandoning him, and thinking you'd betray us while you were half dying in the jar, and making you keep your promise to me and Annabeth before we fell, I put a lot of pressure on you."

"Percy-"

"Don't say it's okay Nico, it's not. I should have done better, I should have been a better friend to you but I wasn't."

"This is all water under the bridge now," Nico said breezily.

"Except that it's not. I put pressure on you to lead everyone to the doors of death when you had _just_ come out of Tartarus by yourself, having been captured and put in this jar where you had to be in a half-dead state just to survive. I put pressure on Annabeth after we had graduated to move to New Rome and start our life together. I mean, I was missing for almost a year! I had been going out with Annabeth for a month before going missing during that time and when I finally reunited with her, we were thrown into another war to save the world again. I mean, we didn't even have time to process all that had happened to us."

"That wasn't something you could've controlled," Nico consoled Percy, "time wasn't something that was being given to us easily, we had a world to save, a war to fight and a prophecy to fulfill."

"And then we saved that world, and we were okay for a while and it was...jarring to think I would be going back to school, that things were at peace for now. So we saved the world, Annabeth and I were still alive, Leo was missing, you had told me about your crush on me-"

Nico groaned, "oh god, don't remind me, what the fuck was I even thinking!"

Percy chuckled, looking over at Nico, who had his head clutched in his hands, turned away from Percy, "what was wrong with how you told me you liked me?"

"Are you kidding me? I said that whole shit about you not being _my type_ and let me just say, that that was a lie! Okay, I was..." Nico winced, "I was sort of in love with you and it was a really confusing time for me okay!" He said, his cheeks getting red, the blush was slowly starting to go down his neck and up to his ears, "I mean I had this hot blond paying attention to me and I was like...not prepared _at all_ for that. Then I was meeting these new people who would later become my friends, and I was just starting to feel okay with being gay and then you're there with Annabeth and I thought, now would be a good time to tell you that I liked you but that it was okay! Because you _weren't my type_!"

Percy studied Nico, and a fond smile made its way across his face, "So, in the case of me being your type or not..."

Nico groaned once more, "and then that _stupid_ high-five I gave Annabeth! I wasn't in control of my body at that time! I don't know what the actual fuck was going through my mind, I was a panicking gay boy confessing to his crush in front of his gorgeous girlfriend. I worked with what I had, stop judging me!"

Percy laughed, rich and loud and full of life.

"And now you're laughing at my misfortune," Nico whined, "glad I can amuse you."

"That was definitely one of the weirder moments of my life, and I've had plenty."

"Please," Nico pleaded, "I still cringe to this day, please let's stop talking about it."

"Okay," Percy said, stopping his teasing, "but, we were safe and the war with Mother Earth was done. I went back to school in New York and Annabeth went back to California. We had gone out for a month, I went missing, we got reunited, then thrown into another prophecy and then we had less than a month to be with each other before being on two different sides of the country. I mean, sure Annabeth and I visited each other as much as we could but, I had junior year to repeat and when I started senior year, she had already graduated and was starting college in California."

Percy looked out to the water, "I guess when I graduated I was just so ready to move on, I mean, I didn't even help Apollo out too much with Meg because I was just so _done_ with the gods' shit, and I moved to New Rome and dragged Annabeth here with me. Our third and fourth year being together, was sort of our first and second year of _actually_ being together...if that makes sense. So, we were learning about each other and learning to be a couple while also living together, which lead to a lot of fights because..." Percy stopped, coming to the realization Annabeth had already gotten to, "I realize now, that we were two totally different people. But I didn't want to give up, Nico, I wanted to push forward because I thought that's what was supposed to happen. That's what was normal."

"Nothing is ever normal, not in our lives," Nico said quietly.

"I know that now but...Nico, I think I already had an ideal way to live my life, and I...never fully considered how Annabeth would truly fit in it. It's like I had a template of what a healthy household would look like but I didn't take stock into how I would go about achieving that. I thought we would fight the wars and then move in together, fall even more in love and then everything would fall into place. We'd have the house and the marriage and the kids and...it'd be perfect...but nothing fell into place. And it wasn't perfect..."

"Nothing in life is perfect," Nico whispered, and he moved closer to Percy, putting an arm around Percy's shoulders, "and it's okay that nothing is perfect, it makes life better that way."

"But don't you see Nico," Percy leaned into him, and the warmth inside Percy only grew, "I asked for too much, I expected too much too soon, I didn't give us enough time to grow into that dream. I rushed it because I thought there was a time limit to these things...and in the process, I drained Annabeth and exhausted myself. I caused the collapse of our relationship."

"Percy, it's good that you recognize your fault in it, but Annabeth had fault too. She didn't clearly communicate with you that she wanted to wait before starting a family with you, probably because she too wanted to rush it, especially when this life is so unpredictable."

"Annabeth was never really good at expressing herself."

"And that was a problem she needed to work on, you both needed to communicate and talk to each other about the future but you didn't. This wasn't just your fault Perce, it was hers too."

Percy looked at Nico, finally noticing how close he was to Percy. Dark brown eyes held his green ones, and they looked so nice and pretty, especially with the way the sunlight was hitting them, Percy felt like he could fall in them, and he knew he would never want to leave.

They stared at each other, almost drinking each other in. Percy felt his heart pound fast in his chest, his palms were starting to grow sweaty and he was getting nervous. Why was he starting to feel this way around Nico? Percy minutely looked down at Nico's lips before he looked back up into Nico's eyes. They had grown darker, and Percy felt a slight shiver go down his spine.

"Want to come over to my house?" Nico whispered, "I can make us dinner."

Percy didn't trust himself to speak, so he shook his head yes. Nico smiled and Percy felt a tingle shoot through him at seeing that smile. The sun was setting over the sea, the sand was growing colder under them now that the sun wasn't as strong as before, their shadows were being cast out behind them. Nico grabbed Percy's left hand, his right arm still thrown over Percy's shoulders, and brought Percy closer still. Then, the shadows around them grew, it was starting to feel colder, Nico's hand was cool to the touch in Percy's own hot, sweaty one. Nico always kept a cool body temperature, being the son of Hades.

There were dark whispers that kept growing in Percy's ears as the shadows surrounded them, before swallowing them whole. Percy couldn't feel anything other than Nico's arm over his shoulder and his hand holding Percy's. Percy felt his eyes water with how fast he felt they were going, cold was all around them, whisperings were in his ears, his sense of touch and smell were all off, he could barely even see, it was darker than night itself.

Soon enough, the whispers died down, and the light blinded Percy when he could see again. He no longer felt as though he was floating, he felt grounded now. Percy blinked blearily at his surroundings. They were standing outside an apartment complex in New York, which was where Nico lived. It had been a while since Nico had shadow-traveled with Percy, so it took a second for Percy to adjust. But he could still feel Nico's hand in his and Percy denied he felt heat shooting through the tips of his fingers down to his toes where Nico was touching him.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Nico said, opening the door to his apartment and letting Percy inside.

Percy walked down the small hallway near the door and into the living room. There was a couch up against the wall, right in front of it was a coffee table and right in front of that, the TV. There was an armchair to the left of Percy, near the window and Percy could see Nico sitting there, the way he usually did at Percy's. Sprawled all over the armrests, a book in his hand. It wasn't hard to picture and it brought a smile to Percy's face.

"Make yourself comfortable," Nico said, as he made his way to his kitchen.

"I haven't been here in a while, you've changed the place up," Percy said, looking around.

His ADHD was starting to act up, his eyes flitting between things, never really focusing on any one thing in particular. There was just so much to see. Nico had put up a light blue wallpaper over his walls. There were pictures hung up of Nico and Hazel, then some of Lou Ellen and Cecil, with Will in the mix. There was one of Nico and Jason, then it was them two and Percy, Leo and Frank. One of Percy, Grover, Annabeth, and Nico. Percy smiled at that one. It had been taken a year after Nico told Percy of his crush on him. Percy had the photo on his wall too, that day they had all gone to the lake and had a picnic.

Percy walked over to the kitchen, where he saw Nico leaning over the counter, a chopping board on top, a knife in his hands, he was mincing garlic. There was water already boiling on the stove in a pot. And Percy could see a container filled with shrimp.

"What are you making?" Percy asked Nico.

"Lemon garlic shrimp with butter."

"Yum, anything I can do to help?"

Nico looked over at Percy, a smirk growing on his face, "you sure you're not gonna burn my place down?"

Seeing Nico's smirk had a shiver shooting through Percy's body, and he cleared his throat to make sure his voice didn't come out shaky when he spoke, "I'm a great helper in the kitchen. I can cook!"

"Fine, there's another chopping board in the cupboards, start mincing the parsley."

So they set to work, and Percy watched Nico cook with a fascination that was different than the last time. They talked and drank wine while cooking. They laughed and ate together and drank more wine. And Percy had never felt so happy and warm in a long time.

As the night was coming to a close, Percy wasn't ready to leave yet. So he asked Nico if he could stay over. Nico was surprised but said yes either way and started to set Percy up on the couch. Nico told Percy good night and retreated to his room and Percy, for the first time wished Nico would have stayed a bit longer with him. He fell asleep, his mind free of worry and he felt safe.

Percy should have guessed that this feeling wasn't going to last.

He had been startled awake by Nico, who was kneeling by Percy near the side of the couch.

"Hey," Nico said softly, his hand on Percy's shoulder, anchoring him.

"Wh-what happened?" Percy asked, his voice came out shaky, he was breathing heavily, like he had just run a marathon.

"You were having a nightmare, you let out some shouts in your sleep, woke me up so I came to see what was going on."

"Sorry," Percy choked out, his heartbeat slowing down.

"It's okay," Nico comforted, he rubbed Percy's shoulder, "I get it, I still get nightmares, especially from Tartarus."

Of course Nico understood. While Percy had been down there with Annabeth, Nico had went alone. Being the son of Hades had made it worse off for Nico, because he had seen Tartarus in its actual state, while Annabeth and Percy, hadn't. Percy felt like he failed Nico more times than he could count. He should've done _something_ to make sure Nico didn't go alone. He should've fought with Nico on it harder, but the anger he had felt when he got his memories back had gotten the best of Percy.

"What do you do when you get them?" Percy asked the brown eyed demigod, looking up at him for answers.

"I breath to try to calm down, and then try to remember that they're just dreams. That I'm here, not down there and that I'm safe," Nico said, looking over at Percy. "Have you...ever talked to anyone about these problems?"

"Well, it's not like I can go to a therapist with my demigod problems. I'd end up at psych ward." Percy said, rubbing his eyes.

"No," Nico shook his head, "definitely don't do that, but have you ever tried to talk to a therapist that _is_ a demigod and can help you?"

"Is that what you did?" Percy asked Nico, sitting up on the couch.

"No, I just looked some things up in a psychology book, well, a few of them and tried to better myself with the information I had to work with."

"I don't think I need to talk to anyone Nico."

"It might help you," Nico suggested.

"Yeah, but you said you didn't do that, maybe I can do the same as you."

"Everyone's mind works in different ways, what might've worked for me, might not work for you because we're different people Perce, and sometimes we need different solutions."

Percy huffed, rubbing a hand down his face.

"I think you _know_ that you need help, but I can't force you to get it Percy, you need to be the one who decides to seek it."

"I think you're right," Percy whispered quietly, "I just...I don't know how."

"I can help you find the right person for you, maybe I'll try it out myself because I still struggle with it. Recovery isn't something linear, it requires a lot of patience and a lot of forgiveness. And sometimes you'll have good days, sometimes you'll have bad ones, but always remember those bad days don't last forever. Every time you take a step forward, you also take two steps back, but what's important is moving forward."

They stayed quiet for a while, Percy thinking about what Nico had just said. Maybe it _was_ time for Percy to get help. There was still a lot of stuff that he hadn't dealt with properly, and the breakup with Annabeth seemed to only amplify his problems. He needed to do something before it boiled over.

"Okay, let's stop this heavy talk, it's like 4 am and I'm tired as shit," Nico said, getting up and stretching and it was only then that Percy noticed that Nico was only clad in his boxers. Percy let his eyes roam over Nico's body, seeing his taut muscles stretch with every move Nico made and Percy felt his mouth start to water.

This was weird, why was he starting to feel this way around Nico? Percy didn't know what to do, it was different than all those times he felt when he was just sleeping with someone casually. This felt stronger.

"Want to sleep together?" Nico asked, and it jerked Percy out of his thoughts.

Percy ripped his eyes away from Nico's chest and he looked up at Nico's face.

"Wh-what?" Percy asked shakily.

"I mean, do you want to sleep next to me on my bed? It might help you feel better knowing you're not alone for tonight, who knows, might keep the nightmares away," Nico shrugged and if Percy were paying enough attention, he would have noticed the way Nico's cheeks had flushed pink.

"Uh, yeah," Percy said, getting up from the couch and standing in front of Nico, "yeah, let's..." he trailed off.

"Go to sleep?" Nico asked, teasingly.

"Yeah," Percy breathed out.

"Come on," Nico said, going back to his bedroom and Percy followed after him.

Percy's eyes raked over Nico's back, before zeroing in on how tight Nico's boxers hugged his ass. Percy felt himself swallow heavily, that feeling in the pit of his stomach seemed to be growing with each passing day.

Nico climbed into bed, and Percy shut the door to Nico's bedroom before laying down beside him. It was quiet for a while, and all Percy could hear was the hammering of his heart inside his chest. It was like it wanted to beat right out of his body.

"Hey Nico," Percy whispered.

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Percy."

* * *

Opening up his door Percy came to face to face with Grover.

"Percy!" Grover bleated, his eyes watering up at seeing Percy.

The son of Poseidon couldn't lie, he felt tears prickling at his eyes too. It had been two years since he had last seen Grover. The last they had talked had been about a month ago, and they usually tried to keep in touch often, but it was completely different talking over Iris messaging and seeing each other in person.

"Hey man," Percy said as he brought Grover in for a hug. He still had that brown, curly hair that was untamable, he was still taller then Percy and still lanky, "how you been? How's it going with saving the wild places?"

"It's going great!" Grover's voice was still thick with emotion, bleating in between words, he hadn't let go of Percy, choosing to instead sling an arm around his shoulders, "but Juniper and me are thinking about settling down soon. She worries about me when I'm out there," Grover said before going in for another hug, gripping onto Percy for dear life, "man, I've missed you!"

"I missed you too, Grover, and I worry about you too, you gotta be careful bud," Percy said, returning his hug.

"Aww, that's nice," Nico spoke up, his tone teasing, making them jump in surprise, "reunited and it feels _so good!_ "

"Shut up," Percy said, poking Nico in the ribs, "and why didn't you knock or ring the doorbell?"

"Percy, knocking and ringing doorbells are for people who _can't_ shadow-travel, I'm above that. Besides, that's so boring, why not just be exciting and scare the crap outta people," Nico joked.

"Wow Neeks!" Grover started and Percy saw Nico glare at him, "look at you all grown up," Grover continued, bringing Nico in for a hug, which wasn't appreciated, but Nico softened his glare a little bit.

"Hey Grover," Nico said, "how've you been?"

Piper, Leo and Hazel soon arrived at Percy's place, one after the other. Hazel told Percy that Frank had to take care of another issue and told Hazel to go on ahead of him, he'd try to make it later. Percy didn't mind too much. He knew Frank and Hazel tried to make time whenever they could to come around when they all gathered together, and being praetor was a full time job.

Nico and Piper had apparently planned the evening together, because Percy was surprised by the amount of food that had been set on the table. They drank, they ate and they joked around, trading stories with each other and it was the best Percy had ever felt in a long time.

"Okay," Piper said, and there was a glint in her eyes that had Percy guessing trouble was coming their way, "how about we play a game reminiscent of one of our high school experiences?"

"Which would be?" Hazel asked nervously. Hazel being born in the 1930's and being inside camp meant she didn't get exposed too much to the modern world. Therefore, she was still getting accustomed to it.

"Spin the bottle!" Piper exclaimed.

"Aw, come on, Pipes," Leo groaned, "you always wanna play this-"

"Yes! And now is the perfect time! We're all a little tipsy," Piper said, shaking her shoulders, mimicking dance move, "let's do it!" She grabbed one of the empty wine bottles and spun it around them on the table. It spun and spun and spun before landing on Hazel.

"Pucker up babycakes!" Piper whooped.

"Oh god, Piper," Hazel said, her cheeks growing red and she began to fan her face.

"Come on, Haze," Piper teased, making her way to the dark skinned girl, "it's one little kiss, a little peck, a little smoochie-smooch!"

Hazel leaned forward and very quickly pecked Piper on the lips, before leaning back and fanning her face with her hand, "okay! I did it!"

"Aw, come on," Piper whined.

"You did say it was a little peck," Nico joked, taking a sip of his beer and Percy couldn't help but stare as Nico's adams apple bobbed while he swallowed. Over the course of dinner, Percy felt his eyes always going back to look at the son of Hades. Percy licked his lips subconciously, now was definitely not a good time to be distracted by Nico.

"Okay Hazel, spin the bottle," Leo said, "let's see if it lands on me, the super-sized McShizzle's gonna show you all how it's done!"

The bottle was spun but instead of landing on Leo, it landed on Grover. Hazel pecked him just as quickly as she had done to Piper, fanning her face with both hands, it seemed to be growing hotter. Grover spun the bottle and Percy saw it land on Nico. Part of Percy felt a little envious that Grover was going to be kissing Nico but another part felt nervous. What if Percy was put in a position to kiss Nico, what would he do?

"Come on Grover, bring your whiskers here and kiss me," Nico said, a laugh bubbling out of him and Percy couldn't help but smile at the son of Hades, "and let tell you, I don't want that little peck you gave my sister, give me a full blown kiss."

"Hey Neeks, I'm all for kissing, let's do it brother," Grover said, before bringing Nico in for a kiss. The kiss had lasted longer than Hazel's had with Piper and Grover, Percy felt a little mesmerized. He could vaguely hear Piper whooping, while Leo whistled and Hazel kept repeating "oh gods,", but it was all background noise as Percy focused on Nico, watching his pink tongue lick Grover's bottom lip.

_I wanna do that..._

The thought had come out nowhere, it jerked Percy out of his trance.

There was want heavily growing inside Percy and he had to rip his eyes away before anyone noticed.

"Alright! Now _that's_ how you play spin the bottle!" Piper cheered.

"Okay, come on!" Leo whined, "I'm ready to kiss, spin that shit! Let's goooo!"

Nico spun the bottle and it landed on Piper, who quickly gave Nico a peck. As Piper spun the bottle, Leo whined about not getting a turn when it landed on him. Piper and Leo kissed for more than was necessary, full on frenching while Grover cheered and Nico laughed. Percy thought Hazel was going to faint from all the blood rushing to her face with each passing turn. Leo spun the bottle, finally happy that it was his turn and it landed on Nico again.

"Is it kiss Nico day?" The son of Hades asked as he leaned over the table and grabbed Leo by the back of his head, bringing the Latino in for a kiss. Leo swallowed Nico's bottom lip, suckling slightly before letting go with a loud _pop_! Percy's face flushed pink and he rubbed the back of his head, averting his gaze. He wondered if Nico's lips were as soft as they looked.

"Spin that shit!" Piper yelled, finishing off her glass of wine before pouring some more.

Nico spun the bottle and as it continued to spin, Percy had a fleeting moment where he wished it would land on him. Maybe a god was listening to him, because soon enough, the bottle stopped spinning and landed on Percy. There were shouts from all directions and Nico's face grew pink.

"Okay!" Nico began, "this kiss used to be something I dreamed about, so you know what, I'm making it count!" The brown eyed male said, getting up and making his way to where Percy was sitting. "The gods were like, you know, this kid is gonna have a crush on the savior of Olympus and then later on in the future he's gonna play spin the bottle, tipsy as hell and end up kissing him," Nico cracked a joke at his own expense, and Percy couldn't help but laugh, "so we're doing this the right way."

Percy could feel his heart pound in his chest erractically, his breath was coming in short gasps, his palms were sweaty. He watched as Nico sat down on his lap and wound his arms around Percy, "you ready?" Nico asked and Percy didn't trust himself to speak at all, so he nodded his head yes. "I'm gonna need something verbal," Nico smirked at him, and Percy felt like he was going to explode.

"Yes," Percy answered, breathlessly, his body twitching, impatient. He wanted this, every inch of his being wanted to kiss Nico, touch him.

It was like time slowed down, the noises their friends were making faded into the background. Percy looked up into Nico's eyes and it felt like he was falling deep, they were so brown and beautiful. They were like the Earth and they grounded Percy in this moment in time. Nico leaned in slowly, swallowing thickly. There was a moment where they paused, looking at each other, an inch of space left and then their lips met. Something electric fired off inside Percy, and he wound his arms around Nico's waist, bringing him closer. Percy grew hungrier with each passing second, he wanted to devour Nico's lips completely.

Percy swiped his tongue on the bottom of Nico's lip, asking, begging to taste him, Nico moaned into the kiss and it only fueled Percy some more. Percy explored every crevice inside Nico's mouth, his tongue sucking on Nico's, fighting with him for dominance. He sucked on Nico's upper lip before giving his bottom lip attention. Letting Nico go with a pop, Percy looked into Nico's eyes. They had grown dark with desire and Percy felt it too, deep inside him. The desire for Nico was growing and Percy didn't know what to do about it.

"Oh...my...god..." Piper said, breaking the trance they were in and it was then that Percy realized they had an audience.

Hazel was fanning her face while muttering something quietly, and Leo and Grover stared wide-eyed. Piper smiled a little too widely for Percy's liking.

"That was fucking hot!" The daughter of Aphrodite yelled, "holy shit!"

"Okay _Fabio_ , way to make my kiss with Nico look medicore compared to yours," Leo joked, downing his bottle of beer, "it's on for next time!"

"Percy," Grover bleated out, "my man, that was..." he was flushing red, "that was fucking awesome! You got into the spirit of spin the bottle!"

"Do it again!" Piper screamed, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"No, nope!" Nico said, the red on his cheeks finally fading, "let's continue!" He said, getting out of Percy's lap to sit back in his chair.

Percy shook his head. He couldn't deny now that what he felt for Nico was more than just want. He spun the bottle and watched as it landed on Nico once more.

"Oh! _Come on!_ " Leo cried out indignantly.

Something told Percy that there was some sort of divine intervention at play here. The second kiss between them had gone about the same as the first one had, except Percy had gotten up to Nico, and held Nico's face in his hands as they kissed. The whole time, he tried to deny the whispers in the back of his mind telling him this felt right.

* * *

Percy shut the door his apartment, heaving a sigh at the long day he had.

"Finally you're home," Nico said, startling Percy, "I feel like I've been waiting for hours!"

"Nico," Percy exhaled heavily, "what the fuck?"

"What?" Nico asked innocently but Percy could see his smirk growing.

"You scared the shit outta me!"

"Didn't mean to," Nico said, looking up from his book and over at Percy, flashing the son of Poseidon a smile, "sorry, won't do it again."

"You little shit," Percy muttered, before entering the living room where Nico was sprawled over his armchair. "What's up?"

"Well, just wanted to stop by, I'm doing a job for my dad tomorrow, so who knows how long it'll take."

Percy stilled, "do you want me to go with you?" The words were out of his mouth before Percy could think on it.

Nico gave him a weird look, "no," he began, "I'm just here to hang out a bit and..." Nico paused, looking away from Percy, a blush on his cheeks, "I wanted to let you know about it before I left."

"Why don't you want me to go with you?" Percy asked, sitting beside Nico.

"Perce," Nico began, swinging his legs off of the armrests, sitting upright, "you...haven't been as active these past two years as before, so maybe we can train together before I let you come with me on a job. Besides, I thought you wanted out of the demigod life."

"Well, yeah but I was thinking a little while ago, to maybe hold off on that. I was thinking maybe putting that idea to rest might do me some good. And so what if I'm little rusty, it'll be like riding a bike!"

"So you're holding off on that then?" Nico asked, "and no, it won't be like riding a bike, you still gotta train. I bet I could beat you now," he chuckled.

Percy smacked Nico upside the head, "I bet you you can't, and yeah. I decided...I've been thinking how I pushed Annabeth away from me because of my desire to start a family with her so quickly. But I'm realizing there's no time limit to that. I can always start it later on with the..." Percy paused, glancing over at Nico before looking away quickly, his cheeks getting pink, "with the right person."

"I'm happy to hear that Perce," Nico said, smiling at him, "and I'm really pround of you, but you still can't come. Besides, it should be easy, kinda."

"What are you doing?"

"A hellhound escaped from my dad's place, gotta get her back in her little doggy cage."

"I could go with you!" Percy exclaimed.

"Percy, you have school and work, no, now come on, let's hang out while we still have the chance."

When night time came, Nico stretched from his position on the couch, they had ordered take out and watched a movie together. Now, Nico was getting ready to go home but Percy wasn't ready for him to leave.

"Hey Nico," Percy began, averting his gaze from the brown eyed male, "do you wanna sleepover?"

Nico blinked in surprise but then shrugged his shoulders, "okay, sure, it'll actually be easier for me, the hellhound should still be around California."

"So it works out," Percy said, smiling, "come on," he gestured for Nico to follow him.

Nico trailed behind Percy as they made their way to Percy's bedroom.

"You're gonna give me some bedsheets for the couch?" Nico asked, stuffing his hands in his pocket as he waited for Percy to go to his closet and bring out the extra sheets and pillows he kept for Nico.

Percy's heart jumped in his throat. Ever since they shared a bed that time in Nico's apartment and those kisses they had, Percy's want for Nico grew tenfold.

"Nope," Percy began, trying to sound nonchalant, "you're sleeping with me, here." He pointed to his bed before looking back at Nico, who's cheeks were beginning to get red.

"Oh!" Nico said, rubbing the back of his neck, "okay."

"Come on, let's go to bed."

Percy began to undress when he heard a sharp inhale from Nico, but when he turned to look at him, he found Nico with his back to Percy, stripping his clothes off as well. They climbed into Percy's bed and Percy pulled the sheet to cover themselves. Nico was turned on his side, facing Percy who was mirroring him. They stared at each other, neither one saying anything.

_Nico looks so beautiful._

It was a fleeting thought that Percy had, but that meant that Percy was beginning to fall for the son of Hades, and something about knowing that, made Percy panic.

"Good night Percy," Nico whispered.

"Good night Nico."

* * *

Percy paced back and forth on his living room floor.

_I like Nico._

But to Percy, this felt a little stronger than just liking Nico. It wasn't love, not yet but it was getting there.

_Like I really, really like Nico. I like him a lot..._

But now what? Percy asked himself. It wasn't like he was going to act on them. He couldn't, he didn't know how Nico felt and Percy didn't think he was ready yet.

What if Percy put pressure on Nico? What if he failed again as a boyfriend? What if he ended up losing Nico the way he lost Annabeth? No, Percy couldn't do that, not to himself and not to Nico. Percy couldn't lose Nico, because if he did, Percy didn't think he'd survive that.

He decided it was better to not tell Nico of his feelings, and to never act on them. They were better off as friends.

"Boy, you are one stubborn demigod."

Percy whirled around to find Aphrodite lounging on his couch, looking dainty, prim and pretty.

"Lady Aphrodite?" Percy said, stilted, surprised.

"Hello Perseus," she smiled, and the more Percy looked at her, the more she seemed to change.

Her hair was going from blonde to black, and getting shorter and shorter. Her blue eyes were turning dark brown, her skin was taking on a more paler tone, her nose was straight and slightly upturned. And her cupid's bow was starting to resemble Nico's. Percy blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't imagining this.

"Beauty _is_ in the eye of the beholder," Aphrodite teased Percy, who had a sinking feeling as to her reason for visiting him.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Percy asked.

"Yes, actually, you could stop trying to deny what you feel for the son of Hades," Aphrodite said, fixing her hair, "I mean honestly, he's as cute as a button and you won't give him the time of day. If I knew you were going to do that, I would have never made the connection known!"

Percy looked at her and it was like the pieces were falling into place. He thought back to what she had once told him, so long ago.

_Not knowing is half the fun. Exquisitely painful, isn't it? Not being sure who you love and who loves you?_

"I did say once that your love life would be anything but boring," Aphrodite smiled at Percy, "and I do favor you, Perseus."

"So," Percy began, swallowing thickly, "you mean to tell me you planned this? All of it? Annabeth and I breaking up? Me falling for-" Percy stopped, choking back what he was about to say, because if it was true, then these feelings for Nico were...

"Now, I merely made the connections, I did not meddle... _too_ much," Aphrodite said, checking on her makeup. "I meddled a little bit with Calypso, and a little bit with Annabeth but that was only to prevent her from joining the Hunters! I only form the bonds, and only when there are already strong emotions at play, you can't make something out of nothing. And you and Nico have _a lot_ of something."

Percy didn't know whether to scream at the goddess of love or blast her with a water canon. His anger only seemed to be growing, and the pipes in the apartment started to groan, as if the water in the building were answering Percy's silent, angry call.

"Did you think it was a coincidence that you remembered both Annabeth and Nico while your memories were lost?" Aphrodite asked Percy while applying a shade of lipstick to her already perfect lips, "you remembered Annabeth because of your strong love for her, and you recalled Nico because of the strong emotions your felt for him. Anger, betrayal, guilt at thinking you caused his sister's death, but you also cared strongly for him. The fact that when you were in the Labyrinth and you came across Nico, only to chase him down without a care for your safety, proved how deeply it ran."

Percy's head started to swim.

"I told you your love life would have twists and turns you wouldn't see coming. There was Rachel, who was a crush, it was small but you liked her nonetheless. Calypso was your biggest _what if_ , and with Annabeth, you went through an epic, tragic love. It was battle born love, but love all the same. You even had a _strong_ admiration for Luke, and if he had not turned on you, I'm very certain that admiration would have turned into something _more_."

Percy inhaled sharply. He hadn't thought about Luke in so long, it was painful thinking how far off the deep end Luke had fallen. Percy looked up to Luke and idolized him immensely, but had it been something more?

"Let's not forget that young Nico's crush on you began as admiration too. To the son of Hades, you were like one of his favorite Greek heroes, brought to life. Nico saw you, the way you saw Luke. It was all there, I didn't need to do much, I just needed to make it known when the time was right."

"So what do you want me to do now?" Percy seethed, because he couldn't believe that the gods were still screwing with him.

"Now you decide whether or not you are going to follow your heart or hurt the both of you by denying the love that is there."

"A love that isn't real, because none of my past loves have been real apparently! They were all part of your schemes!" Percy yelled, his eyes darkening like the sea at storm.

Aphrodite sat up straighter than before, "love in all its forms is real Percy. What you felt for Rachel, Calypso and Luke was real. What you had with Annabeth was most definitely real, just because it didn't last, doesn't mean you didn't learn from it. Your love with Annabeth was epic, yes, and beautifully tragic, but now we see it wasn't meant to survive. There is an even bigger, more epic love story that is waiting for you, with Nico by your side, if you let it happen."

"Just stop!" Percy shouted, "why can't you gods just stop messing with me and my life?!"

"Percy you asked for help and I had my son guide you as best he could, I gave you the help you needed."

_Let yourself grieve._

Percy stilled, because he remembered the voice in the back of his head whispering to let it all out.

"I do not meddle, I merely make the connections and from there, we see you struggle with the love that is the right one for you."

Percy shook his head, his breaths coming in short gasps, "I can't-I'm not listening to this shit anymore!"

"Perseus!" Aphrodite exclaimed, "that is not the way to talk to a lady," she finished, looking over at her nails but not seeming offended.

"Okay, fuck this," Percy said, grabbing his keys from the counter and slamming the door shut.

"Well!" Aphrodite said, looking where Percy had left, "that went about as well as I thought it would go."

The more Percy walked, the angrier he got. Was his life just one big, cosmic joke? Was it entertainment for bored gods with nothing better to do, so they decided to instead screw over Percy? What did it all mean in the end, if the feelings he felt for Nico and Annabeth were nothing more than fabrications? In his anger, he didn't realize he had made it to his father's temple, pacing back and forth in front of the entrance. The water inside the water fountain that was nearby, splashed back and forth, as if it could feel the turbulent emotions warring inside Percy.

"My mother could have gone about dealing with you in a more tactful way," came a voice from Percy's right and he turned to see Cupid leaning against the doors of the temple, "but there isn't much one could do to rein my mother in."

Cupid's black, long hair was bellowing in the slight breeze, his huge white wings looked relaxed for the moment, tucked behind him. His body was lean, it looked like it had been cut from marble, he was wearing a white shirt with jeans, his bow and quiver slung behind him. His face was beautifully cruel looking, and Percy found it hard to stare at the Roman god straight on.

Percy scoffed at Cupid, "are you gods ever going to leave me alone?!"

"You sought out help, and help is what you will receive."

"I asked for help months ago!" Percy roared, his anger had reached a boiling point, "where was it then? When I needed it!"

"The help you needed then was different then the help you need now. You cannot rush the process of grief, we could not interfere while you were at your lowest, you needed to find your way out by yourself. We merely gave you a nudge to help you release," Cupid spoke matter-of-factly, standing straight, looking over at Percy.

"So then why the hell are you here now?! I don't need you now!" Percy shouted, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away, petulantly.

"You think you don't, but you're so blinded by your panic and fear that you won't allow the love that is blossoming between you and Nico to grow. You would rather destroy it before it has a chance to live, if it means you won't get hurt again," Cupid said, walking closer to Percy.

"Nico and I are fine, we're _meant_ to be friends, nothing more," Percy spit out viciously, but even to his own ears, it rang false.

"Did you know Panic and Fear were born out of Love and War?" Cupid began, circling around Percy. "They consumed you after Annabeth. You loved her, but the fighting between you two was a war that you lost, and now your fear is keeping you from the one person who could complement you. Your panic is what keeps him close, because with him nearby, you feel yourself breathe easier, but all it will do is end up hurting you both."

"Shut up," Percy said, through gritted teeth.

"What are you angry at Percy?" Cupid asked, still walking in circles around Percy, and it made him feel like everything was closing in all around him.

"I don't know!"

"Yes, you do, you don't want to admit it. What are you angry at?" Cupid asked, more forcefully, "or should I ask _who_ are you angry at?"

"I don't know!" Percy yelled once more, one of hands clutching his head.

"Are you angry at Nico, for making you feel this way?"

"No!" Percy answered immediately, looking up at Cupid.

"What about Annabeth? She left you, unloved and alone, are you angry at her?"

"Yes! No!" Percy shouted, running his fingers through his hair aggressively, "I don't know! Maybe! Maybe I am angry at Annabeth because we went through so fucking much and she just left me! But..." Percy stopped, exhaling harshly, "I can't be mad that she doesn't love me anymore. And I'm _tired_ of being mad at her."

"Who is all this anger you're still feeling directed at then? If it's not at Nico and it's not at Annabeth, then _who_?!" Cupid asked viciously, baiting Percy.

"No one!" Percy screamed, breathing raggedly.

"Liar," Cupid accused, and his blood-red eyes bore into Percy, almost as if compelling him to speak the words that were on the tip of his tongue. The truth wanted to break free.

 _"I'm angry at myself!"_ Percy roared, and the fountain's water burst out in an angry splash. "I'm mad at me! Because I fucking screwed up, like I always do! I failed Annabeth and I failed as a boyfriend! I'm a fucking screw up! I failed my friends and I failed Luke and..." Percy stopped, gasping, "I failed Nico...too many times," he croaked out. "I don't deserve him," Percy whispered shakily.

"Love isn't about who deserves whom. Love is trail and error, and it comes in the most random times, and you fall for people you can't even begin to consider. Love is failure, because yes, you failed with Annabeth but love is also about doing better, _learning_ to be better. And you do better with Nico. Love is about giving it a chance to live."

Percy inhaled deeply, looking away from Cupid, "I don't want to get hurt."

"You said once that love wasn't worth the pain, but with the right person, it is _so_ worth going through everything, because together, you come out stronger. It is a risk worth taking, again and again and again until it's right."

Percy breathed in deeply, he glanced up at Cupid. There was only one thing his mind and his heart could agree on.

"I like Nico," Percy whispered, "and I want to be with him."

Cupid exhaled softly, and he looked at Percy with something akin to pride.

"Are you afraid of being with him?" Cupid asked, his lips quirking up slightly.

"Yes," Percy confessed, "but that's not gonna stop me," Percy set his mouth straight, determined, "nothing is going to keep me away from Nico."

"And what if the son of Hades rejects you?"

"Then I'll try again, with someone else. Someone who's...right for me."

"Good, Percy," Cupid said.

Cupid smiled then, before disappearing with a flutter of his wings. The scent he left behind, reminded Percy of what Nico usually smelled like; earthy and pleasant, like right after a thunderstorm and the air smelled fresh.

_I like Nico._

And for once, Percy felt at peace with that statement.

He wasn't numb like before.

He didn't feel empty anymore.

When had that happened?

* * *

"Told you Point Pleasant beach was, well, pleasant," Nico teased, smirking Percy's way, as they made their way down the boardwalk.

"I'm just glad you got home safe," Percy muttered, and he missed the confused look Nico gave him, too lost in his own thoughts.

Admitting Percy liked Nico to himself, and admitting it _to_ Nico were two totally different things. Percy needed to let Nico know of his feelings but he needed to say it in a place where they both could feel comfortable.

"Hey," Percy began, grabbing Nico by his wrist and stopping him in his tracks, "wanna go to the park? You remember the one we went to about a month or two ago?"

Nico quirked up an eyebrow at Percy, "sure, let's do it." He grabbed Percy's hand and walked them over under a shady spot. Next thing Percy knew, they were at the park, right under the tree they had been under so long ago, back when Percy felt the first inklings of his feelings for Nico. "What's up?" Nico asked, sitting against the tree bark.

Percy sat down beside Nico, and began to pull at the grass. His ADHD was starting to act up from how nervous he was feeling.

"Nico, there's really no way of saying this..." Percy started before stopping abruptly, mentally preparing himself.

"Percy, no matter what, I'll always be here for you, okay?" Nico said, and maybe he could tell Percy needed the encouragement because the son of Poseidon found his nerves were slowly melting away.

"Nico, I need to tell you something and I want you to know that if you don't feel the same way I won't hold it against you."

"What is it?" Nico asked, confused.

"Nico, I _like_ you, I like you a lot, I think..." Percy stopped, before taking a deep breath, "I've liked you for a long time, I just didn't see it until now. And I _want_ to be with you, I want us to be together and I want to go on dates with you and mphm-!"

Percy cut himself off when he felt Nico's lips on his. Percy wound his arms around Nico's waist, bringing him even closer, until they were flush together. He felt Nico's arms wind around his neck and felt his fingers caress the nape of Percy's neck, before carding through his hair. Nico smiled into the kiss, and Percy couldn't help but kiss Nico all around his face, his nose, his top lip, his cheek all the way down to his neck, embracing Nico. Holding onto him, as if afraid he'd disappear.

"Sorry," Nico apologized shyly, "I ruined your big speech but I couldn't help it and you know I'm not good with emotions."

"Yeah, in your formative years where you should have learned social cues, you instead ran away from people," Percy teased, holding on tighter to Nico.

"Shut up," Nico said softly, his cheeks burning pink. "Percy," Nico said into the crook of Percy's neck, his voice muffled, "you don't know...this is-this is everything I've ever wanted."

Percy inhaled Nico's scent, and found his heart beating in time with Nico's, "I thought you didn't like me anymore."

"I didn't for some time, but being with you, it brought all those feelings back, only stronger than before. Percy," Nico began, pulling away slightly and Percy felt himself missing the way Nico was pressed up against him, "I loved you for the longest time ever, you were my first love and...that doesn't go away..."

Percy could hear the hint of worry in Nico's voice, "are you thinking about Annabeth?"

"What if one day you guys end up getting back together? I mean, she was your first love-"

"Nico," Percy interrupted, "I love Annabeth, yeah, but now I know that I love her only as a friend. She wasn't the right one for me, _you_ are. So don't worry, because I will never, _ever_ leave you. Not for her, not for anyone. I spent months trying to get rid of how empty and numb I felt. I screwed different people and every time I felt more disgusted with myself, but...being with you is different, it feels _right_. Even as a friend, I never felt as numb or empty when you were around. You made me feel alive, and slowly I started to put myself back together again, with your help."

Nico smiled at Percy then, and Percy thought he looked as radiant and beautiful as the moon. His smile was shining brilliantly, and Percy commited that to memory. He wanted to stay this way forever, bottle up this memory and keep it close to his heart.

* * *

It had been almost three months since Percy and Nico had begun to go out.

Percy found himself seeing Nico in a whole new light.

Nico looked at ease whenever he was sprawled over Percy's armchair, reading a book.

He would get a small frown line in the middle of his forehead when he was concentrating hard.

When they watched a movie or tv show, and there was something drastic happening, Nico would worry his thumb in between his teeth.

Nico was a great kisser. Sometimes it would be shy and sweet and innocent.

Other times, Nico would take charge, dominating Percy's mouth and the son of Poseidon found he liked every side of Nico he was slowly discovering.

When they finally had sex, it was better than all of those times Percy had, when he was lost and confused.

This time it felt complete, full of passion, their hearts beating in tandem.

Nico's skin tasted like the sweetest honey.

His lips were soft and delicious.

His skin was cool, a complete contrast to Percy's hot temperature.

 _"Ohhh!"_ Nico moaned, softly, whimpering as Percy continued his ministrations, going so _slow_ it was almost painful.

Percy looked down at Nico and his breath caught in his throat.

Nico's cheeks were flushed red, brown eyes were glazed over with desire. His mouth was left open in an 'o' that looked so pretty, Percy wanted to kiss them forever.

 _Mine!_ Percy's mind seemed to yell possessively.

Percy leaned down, his pace picking up, and Nico's moans were getting louder and louder. Percy's face was in the crook of Nico's neck, breathing him in, pressing kisses in the juncture between Nico's neck and shoulder, and Nico let out a loud groan.

_So beautiful..._

"Percy!" Nico whimpered, "please, Percy...please!" Nico begged.

_All mine._

They were _so_ close, but Percy wanted to be closer to Nico, still. He wanted Nico, every shade of him, forever.

* * *

_I'll take care of you, always. And you'll take care of me._

"I love you, Nico," Percy whispered to the son of Hades, Percy's hands were on Nico's hips.

Nico looked down at Percy, straddling him, his sword near Percy's neck, smirking down at him, and Percy thought Nico looked so gorgeous. They were training when the feeling slammed into Percy, as bright as a thousand suns, there was no doubt in his mind.

Nico smiled at Percy, dropping his sword and cupping Percy's cheek in his hand, "I love you, Percy. I've loved you ever since I met you."

"It's you and me, right? Together?"

"Forever," Nico whispered softly, before kissing Percy until he was breathless.

Percy felt happy and free and loved, and he loved Nico with every fiber of his being.

_I think I need to thank Annabeth._

It felt like forever before he could feel like himself again.

Percy had lost his way and for a long time he was just drifting aimlessly.

The sadness that had filled him had melted away, setting him free.

Percy found what he was looking for in himself, he was getting the help he needed, and he had Nico by his side.

Life was worth living for, even through the bad.

Happiness filled Percy immensely.

Percy loved Nico, and Nico loved him.

And they were happy.

And that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank anyone who read my little story!
> 
> It was really hard writing this because I had the idea ever since BOO came out but I didn't start until two years ago. By then, I still didn't have any direction for where this story was heading and it came out a lot differently than what I imagined but in a good way. I learned a lot while writing this story out and I feel very proud and happy. It went through a lot of editing and revisits and there were times where I wasn't motivated enough to write even a word, but this came out so much better than I expected.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading!


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